Don't worry, be happy :)

Focus on life issues.
Ask Arlene MD is to focus on anything that has to do with mental health. In the past I've written about relationships but now I would like to focus more on mental health and try to be educational and entertaining. Life is always about relationships. These are either male, female, parent, child, neighbors, teachers, and the list is infinite. How we interact with others define us. If we are angry, we can develop toxic relationships. If we have a better attitude, then we will be happy. Happiness is really a state of mind. You chose to feel happy. You chose to be sad. You choose to be angry. You chose to be mean. Hopefully if you read this blog you will use it for insight, not to attack others. The purpose is to try to make people have a better and positive look at life. Enjoy!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The guy who is a stringer.

There is this lady I know who started dating this man 14 years older than her. She was 38 years old when she met him and he was in his fifties. They both were married and started having an affair. The affair has lasted more than 20 years and they’re still dating.  She had younger children when she met him, so they decided to stay with their respective spouses till her children grew up. His children were already in their twenties and out of his house.  Time went by and her children grew up, so she decided to get a divorce. Since she was dating this older, financially stable man, she went for a quick divorce and did not bother to get alimony nor half of the marital assets. She figured that her lover would take care of her. To her surprise, he did not get a divorce. Years went by and she started calling his wife and grown children, showing unannounced to his office and making scenes. These worsen the strain in their relationship. Eventually he did get a divorce but refused to marry her. He started dating younger women than her. She was now in her mid fifties and he was over 65 years old. He started dating women in their early forties. To her shock, he continued with this behavior! She works in real estate and does not have a steady income. The home she lives in is her lover’s and ex wife’s rental property and she may be kicked out any moment. Her lover makes her pay rent and utilities. She has no savings, does not own a house and has neither steady job nor health insurance. What is sad is that if he dies, she will be kicked out of the house she lives in by his children. It’s unbelievable that she continues with this man. She used to be a very attractive woman but she has aged. She still could have a chance to find someone who cared for her but she feels that she has “invested” too many years waiting for her lover that she just refuses to give up. Sometimes women should cut their losses and move on. Think about this like a bad stock or mutual fund that you may have bought in the past. Sometimes it’s better to sell at a loss then continue to lose more money. Think about your love life like a money investment. Don't get strung along by a stringer.

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