Don't worry, be happy :)

Focus on life issues.
Ask Arlene MD is to focus on anything that has to do with mental health. In the past I've written about relationships but now I would like to focus more on mental health and try to be educational and entertaining. Life is always about relationships. These are either male, female, parent, child, neighbors, teachers, and the list is infinite. How we interact with others define us. If we are angry, we can develop toxic relationships. If we have a better attitude, then we will be happy. Happiness is really a state of mind. You chose to feel happy. You chose to be sad. You choose to be angry. You chose to be mean. Hopefully if you read this blog you will use it for insight, not to attack others. The purpose is to try to make people have a better and positive look at life. Enjoy!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

It took you 10 years to find out he's married?

I know this woman that had been dating this man for 10 years. He lived a few hours away from her and traveled for a living. So, it didn't seem unusual that he could only spend  a few overnights with her during the week. She was a single mother and was busy raising her teenage daughter. The relationship was working fine for her. He swore he was single and she believed him. The years went by and her daughter grew up and got married. She now has a child of her own and moved to another city. So, now it seemed a good time to spend more time with her beau. He had never given her his phone number. Even though it seemed strange to her, she thought it was not necessary since he would call her several times a day every day. She liked the fact that he was pursuing her, not the other way around. One day, he didn't call for two days so she got worried. She had never met any of his friends or family, however, she did know another man who had worked with him in the past. So, she called him and asked about her boyfriend. The man, being totally honest, just told her that he was married. Can you believe how shocked she was? She got so angry that she told her boyfriend's coworker how upset she was and she could not wait till she confronted him. Apparently, his coworker called him and let him know that the truth was out. He never called her again. She never saw him again. Two years have gone by and not a glimpse of him. When I spoke with her, she told me how angry she was in the beginning. She wrote him a long letter which she had no address to mail to. A few weeks went by, the anger turn towards depression and loneliness. What bothered her the most was that she did not have "closure". Why do women need closure anyway? If he had the guts to simply walk away without a "goodbye", why can't women do the same? The worst part about this story is that she has not been able to move on with her life. She has not dated nor even gone out since this happened. Ladies, when a man leaves, don't waste your time wondering why he left, just acknowledge that it's over and move on. Remember, time waiting is time wasted.

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